Friday, January 7, 2011

18 Weeks


We're at 18 weeks!
Feeling an occasional flutter that I think might be Lil' Bit moving around.
Belly bump is getting harder to hide and Ive already gained a whopping 12 lbs. The cruel irony that I've been throwing up so much and still gaining weight seems entirely unfair!
I'm still craving grapefruit and Chick-Fil-A lemonade like its going out of style!
Citrus deficiency??

We're just a couple weeks away from our big 20 week check up. We will have to go to Charleston for this one. Our doctors will be performing a fetal ECHO to check out Lil' Bits heart. With Evie's heart history, the risk of another heart baby is a little bit higher and they want to make sure they've got all their bases covered.
I'll be honest.
Im nervous!
Crazy to think that if we'd been state-side during my pregnancy with Evie, they probably would have detected her heart problem around this age. We had a scare at my last appointment a couple weeks ago. The nurse tried for 10 minutes to get a heartbeat with the doppler to no avail. Nothing but erie silence! '
The nurse told me not to worry as she left the room to get the doctor.
Easier said than done!
I sat with tears welling up in my eyes and C squeezing my hand as we waited for the Doctor to come and perform an ultrasound. It took him no more than 2 seconds to find the heartbeat once he placed the probe on my abdomen.
HUGE sigh of relief.
But the thing is...somewhere along the way with our sweet Evie, I lost my innocence. Pregnancy is no longer a breeze. A healthy baby isnt something I'm certain of. I dont take anything for granted. Somehow the stakes seem higher. The risks and fears threaten to steal my joy and I find myself paranoid about anything I eat or chemical/cleaning smells I'm around. The "what if's" are a constant battle I have to take to the Lord!

On a lighter note, I have a dilemma. We havent found out what we were having with any of the other kids. I'm just old fashioned like that. I love surprises. Somehow, I'm not liking the idea of any surprises with this baby though. We had enough of that last time around! I want to know everything I can about this little one. Should I cave and find out?

We're taking bets on what it'll be? On the right hand sidebar, you can vote if you think we need to be stocking up on more hairbows or if I need to start shopping for some blue around here. So far the score is pretty even. What do you think, boy or girl?

7 comments:

Sarah Webb said...

Do it! Find out! It is so exciting and for me, is a fun and different way for bonding.

but, of course, surprises are fun too....you will know what to do.

XOXO
S~

Danielle said...

Find out!!!!!!!!! It will be a surprise when you find out....totally find out!!!!!!!!

Lacey said...

Its so hard when you have a sick child, to not help but think it will happen again. Even though we know the odds are small, its still in the back of our minds, always.
Oh and your so skinny it makes me sick!
Hmm, I think girl, but I'm just going with what they said with my boys. Once you have two of the same sex, the chances keep getting higher that it will always be that sex!

Carolina Carters said...

I hear you friend! Praying for the baby's heart, and for yours! You look amazing...you don't look pregnant at all! Ugh! No fair! :)

The way I look at the finding out thing...it's a surprise either way! It can be a surprise in 2 weeks or 20 weeks. At least you can be prepared with plenty of blue! ;)

Hugs and prayers!!!

Donna said...

Mandy, I can only imagine the internal fears you are having. Not hearing the heart beat immediately had to be one of them. Try to enjoy this pregnancy until you know you have a reason NOT to! You want to remember this time joyfully not fearfully. Joy is a gift from above and this baby was given for that.
As for finding out the sex...I loved knowing and bonding with my daughter even before she was born. I didn't have that luxury with my boys. I loved them all the same but being able to anticipate was sooo much fun! I called her by name in my belly...it was like going on a trip and enjoying the planning as much as going there!
Only you can make that decision...have fun!!!

ogremom said...

No!!! There are so few true surprises in this life - let us suffer alongside you with the not knowing!!! (I found out with both mine - won't do it again [not that I'm having more...])

Just like Evie, God's hand is on this little one, too. I do know the terror of not knowing that my baby would be okay - had an amnio with Frank because my MSAFP showed high chances of a Down's baby.

I think it's a boy this time - Tristan needs a brother!

Sarah D said...

Oh, I would find out! We has SO much fun with the last two babies when we found out! It really helped the youngest to adjust by being able to call the baby by name. We all seemed so familiar already with baby when he finally made an appearance, too.

Praying for you Mandy!

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