Sunday, January 15, 2012

Mommy's Musings on Birthday Eve

My playful, joyful, life-loving, beautiful girl....


Ive just spent the last while hovering over your sleeping body.  Watching you all warm and wrapped in slumber.  A mess of curls across your forehead, hands clinching your beloved blanket.  
Sweet smell of sleep.
Hours ago, you gave me your last 3-year-old kiss, and asked me to sing "You Are My Sunshine" and scratch your back.  And we whispered of our big birthday plans. 
....Sleep was slow in coming for your excited anticipation of tomorrow.  


The gentle, peaceful rise and fall of your chest takes me back to another time....
A time I sat slumped over a bed too big for the tiny body it contained.  There I watched that same chest rise and fall and prayed strength for you to take another breath and for your heart to go on beating.

My miracle girl, every day you live and breathe and skip and giggle and cartwheel through my living room is a direct answer to those tearful prayers.  


These weeks surrounding the anniversary of your birth and the storm that followed leave me contemplative and reflective every year.  I still struggle to drown out the "what-if's" with the blessed assurance of "what-is".  But the deepest comfort lies in the "who-is".
Who was.
Who is.
Who is to come.  
He who formed you and knows the intricacies of your heart....He knows the days He has ordained for you and no-one and nothing can prematurely steal even a moment.  
With burning eyes and a lump in my throat, my heart can sing with that full assurance, 

"No guilt in life, no fear in death, 
this is the power of Christ in me;
From lives first cry, to final breath, 
Jesus commands my destiny.  
No power of hell, no scheme of man, 
can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He return or calls me home, 
here in the power of Christ Ill stand!"


My blue-eyed-beauty.....your daddy and I pray that always, your little heart will shine for Jesus.  That you will be satisfied with nothing less than Him. That you will take this gift of life He has bestowed on you, and give Him all the glory for His healing work and gift of life.  We pray you will grow in inward beauty and a confident grace to share your story.  May your scars be something you learn to see the finger prints of God in and give glory to the Great Physician!


  We pray that this next year will draw your little heart closer to knowing Him as your Savior.  Your precious questions and wise-beyond-your-years observations about heaven leave me in no doubt that He has held you in the palm of His hand.  We thank Him for another year to love and hold and cherish you.  



This year has been full of changes little one.  Big milestones passed.  You are no longer a toddler.  3 was a year of maturing and growth.  You have so beautifully adapted to not being the baby of the family and we are so proud to see you embracing your role as big sister.  How lucky Gigi is to have such an adoring older sister.  You can hold your own with the big kids who love to tease, but adore and dote on you.  You are so full of spunk and pluck and we know that strong determination has been there since day one.


4 years old kiddo!  How can it be?  We are so proud of you honey.
I hope you know how lavishly He loves you.  
And so do we!!



Hope your day tomorrow is full of surprises that delight your heart.  You certainly fill our hearts with joy every single moment of every day.  We love you!



12 comments:

The Simmons Family said...

Gorgeous photos! Happy Birthday sweet girl!

Laura said...

Happy Birthday, Evie. You are such a special (and beautiful) girl!

Love,
The Slusher

Laurie said...

That was beautiful.....and it made me cry! 2nd blog I've read this am that brought tears to my eyes.....this one made them spill over tho!
Happy Birthday to your beautiful Evie!

Stefenie said...

Beautiful pics. Happy Birthday!!

Carolina Carters said...

Happy birthday, sweet Evie! We hope your day is perfect (although we know it will be with that mama of yours :). Have a great day and a great year, big girl!

We love you! :)

ogremom said...

Happy Birthday, precious Evie! I remember how fragile you were when we first met, but how expressive your bitty face was. You made me laugh so much sitting in CC! I am so happy to know you and your sweet Mama!

bobandkelly.com said...

Beautiful pictures of a beautiful girl! Happy Birthday Evie! The Lord truly does have special things planned for you!

Becca said...

I love this post. Amutual friend from Fbc shared your story (we have a heart baby too) and I love your blog!!

Karen said...

Wow! And I remember the day you told me you were pregnant with her! Amazing how time goes by.
happy birthday sweet Evie girl!

Rachel said...

Your beautiful thoughts bring tears to my eyes. Our children are so precious and birthdays are a good time to reflect on our blessings. Hope it's a wonderful day for you all!

Donna said...

Photos are wonderful, Mandy!! She certainly looks like the picture of "happy and healthy!!"

likeschocolate said...

She is just lovely. So well said. The other day I was thinking about Roman's upcoming birthday and could not believe he is turning 5. Made me testy eyed to thinks sOme people thought we should abort him. Every day spent with him is such a blessing.

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