Friday, June 3, 2011

Sigh of Relief


Milestone passed.
Something in my couldn't wait to get to day 10 of Gigi's little life!
Part of me has been holding my breath waiting...afraid to believe all is indeed well...

With our last baby girl, day #10 shattered our world. After a week and a half of snuggling, loving and bonding with what we thought was a happy, healthy newborn, we took her to the hospital in respiratory distress. That night ended with a devastating diagnosis of a heart defect and an airlift of our baby to another city.

Gigi is 10 days old today. Incredible for me to believe Evie survived that long with such a severely broken heart and that we were clueless. I have loved every living, breathing, sacred second with our brand new precious girl. But a hint of anxiety has threatened me every now and then with the reminders of how fragile and fleeting our earthly security is.
Im glad to see the sun set on this day with a perfectly pink bundle curled over my shoulder. Her warm baby breath on my neck. Her finger clasping mine. Her eyes laden with sleep.

Im relishing all that is different in a "healthy" newborn. The things I havent even thought about being heartbreaking with Evie, Im now remembering vividly as we can handle Gigi so differently....
Im thankful that....
~We can allow her to cry every now and then, not fearing the strain on her heart.
~There is no "plugging" her with ugly green hospital pacifiers because she's so hooked up to life supporting devices that you cant even hold her to comfort her when she cries.
~I can dress her in cute footie outfits....no pulse ox probe continually stuck on her toe
~Its safe to hold her upright over my shoulder without fear of re-injuring an incision on her chest.
~I can bond and breastfeed; no pumping in a lonely, dark hospital room and bottling, freezing and feeding to your baby through an NG tube.
~We can take our baby to bed with us every night. No crying into my pillow because my baby is in a an ICUnit on the other side of town.

This baby is SO easy........comparatively!
She's not without her own little hiccups...
She's not gaining weight. You can pray for the little peanut. At her 1 week check-up, she'd lost nearly a pound. She weighs 5.13. That's like a little bag of sugar folks. She's a itty-bitty. We are going in every other day to check weight and she had gained 1 oz in two days when I took her back yesterday. Not great. But at least she's not still loosing! Probably part of just being a preemie. It may take her a bit longer to take off with the eating and growing thing. Mommy is concerned, but hey....this I can handle! There are far worse things!

Knowing and believing that every day is a gift from the Lord!
So thankful that she is on loan to us!

6 comments:

Trini said...

She's so cute! She looks like a Smith.

Carolina Carters said...

Precious, precious girl!

I'm glad you're feeling a little more comfortable since getting past that dreaded day...I get it. In a different way, but I totally get it. I'll be praying for sweet Gigi and her eating and gaining. That's definitely no fun to stress over!

Big hugs and lots of prayers!
~S

Jessica Acree Lusk said...

Hey Mandy! Gigi is precious! My daughter was a preemie (5lbs.7oz) and she dropped down to 4.10 before we left the hospital. She's 6 months now and still low on the weight chart, as was my 2 year old son when he was an infant. The doctors had me paranoid that they were both not gaining enough. :) But alas, all is well and they just grow at their own pace. Praying and PRAISING for you all! You have such a beautiful, God-honoring family! <3

Lacey said...

She does look much skinnier than her newborn pictures!
I so remember that feeling. Knowing Jax was probably going to be my last, and not being able to breastfeed him, or even put him in my bed because of all the tubes.
Indeed we missed the baby part of Jax, because so much time was spent in the hospital. I hate thinking about that!

Donna said...

All of life has its ups and downs but she sure is a sweetie and precious as can be!!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful baby, beautiful family! I went through the same thing with my last baby - so slow to gain weight, so stressful. Postpartum hemorrhage can wreak havoc on your milk supply (not sure why nobody told me this until it was too late to help my supply recover and my 1 month old baby was still not back to her birthweight) so be careful! She is precious - God Bless!

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